Liam's Birth Story: He is BORN

{{{ To read previous posts: Part 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5. You can also read about why we chose Homebirth here.}}}

"You're 8-9 centimeters and baby is 0-1 station."

I couldn't believe it. Absolute shock. Rodney and I stared at each other in complete awe. Tears filled both of our eyes as the realization that our son would soon be born registered in our minds. He was finally coming to join our family. 

We had waited a long time for him. The boy who had occupied my dreams long before he was conceived was making his much anticipated debut! We prayed month after month for him, hoping for a positive pregnancy test, yet felt the sting of disappointment time and time again. We experienced the devastating loss of miscarriage, but clung to the hope that we would eventually hold in our arms the son that Heavenly Father assured us would be ours. 

There we stood, silent. Hearts overflowing with gratitude, while music filled the room.

7:04pm

I stood and embraced Rod through contractions. Kim, the assistant midwife, eased my contractions by squeezing my hips. It felt heavenly. Kim encouraged Rod to perform the hip-squeezes. I welcomed the idea because, after all, I wanted him to feel involved in the process. Kim showed him where to place his hands and how to apply counter-pressure. Bless his heart, but he didn't have the magic touch like Kim. Finally, mid-contraction I moaned, "You're fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired".

7:38pm

I moved back into the tub. I was longing to feel the warmth surround my body. My body practically melted as I sat in the tub, but when contractions would hit, I felt like a fish flopping out of water. No position seemed natural. Renee said I could push if I felt it was time. I was still waiting for the overwhelming urge to push, but it still hadn't come. Still, I pushed a few times because I wanted desperately to be finished. My body and mind were tired from the long day. At some point, Renee checked Liam's heart tones and they remained perfect.

As I continued to reposition myself in effort to find an ideal pushing position, I questioned Renee why Liam wasn't moving down. My mind filled with doubt. At the beginning of labor he was posterior (sunny side up) and I began to doubt his ability to rotate. She had me get out of the tub and walked me to our long hallway. She said in effort to help Liam properly align, I would have to walk down the hallway.

Easy enough, I thought.

But I misunderstood.

Walk down the hallway, taking HUGE, over-exaggerated steps during a contraction.

My head nearly spun off my shoulders. There was no way I could MOVE during a contraction. Walk down the hallway? Not a chance. Not when contractions were so intense. And the over-exaggerated strides? Um, no thanks.

She smiled and said it was entirely my choice, but she reassured me that it would help. She warned that I might hate her for it, but it was definitely help. Begrudgingly, I took my place at the end of the hallway, waiting for a contraction so I could begin my walk.

My mind took me back to the days when I ran track--the 300meter hurdles. The starter would announce, "Ladies, take your mark" and we would slowly position ourselves in the starter-blocks. There we would wait for him to say "Set" where we would raise in the blocks until the gun sounded. In those few moments before the gun sounded, the surrounding noises--the crowd, the coaches, the athletes, all of it-- would become a dull buzz overpowered by the sound of my beating heart.

The moment at the end of the hall felt exactly like those many moments I had as an athlete. Adrenaline pumped through my body. The noises that surrounded me became a whisper compared to my beating heart and my thoughts. I knew this was going to be painful, but somehow, I was going to do it.

I slowly made it down the hallway, following directions with precision. I waited at the far end of the hallway once more for another contraction to walk back. As I got nearer to the bedroom door, the overwhelming urge that I had waited for finally came. In fact, as I reached the midwives, I bent over and said, "I have to push!!!!!!!!!"

It worked. The stupid walking worked.

7:50pm

I laid on the end of my bed and pushed. Kim held a mirror as I pushed and that's when I first saw a tiny section of his head. Renee checked Liam's heart tones once more and it remained perfect.

 8:11pm

We agreed that changing positions might help with pushing, so I moved onto the floor into a squat position.

8:19pm

My legs grew tired in the squat position, so I moved to my left side to push. This is when I felt Liam rotating. It was hard work. Arguably the hardest my body has ever worked at anything before. But slow and steady, with each push, I felt him rotate from posterior to anterior. It literally felt like a cork-screw miraculously turned him so that he didn't come out sunny-side up.

8:24pm

After a long day of anticipation, a difficult labor, and an exhausted body, Liam Matthew finally entered the world screaming.

There are certain moments in my life I will never forget. This moment was one of them. The feeling in the room was absolutely sacred. This new little baby came directly from the presence of God into our home. Our hearts were filled with love, reverence for the gift of life, and gratitude that we held in our arms another piece of our future.

I was overjoyed. My sweet baby, who I had become acquainted with through dreams, was finally in my arms. The weeks upon weeks of nausea, vomiting, hair loss, weight gain, numb fingers, swollen ankles, achy back, and uncomfortable waddling was well worth it.  He was absolutely perfect and healthy, all 9.3lbs of him.