Valentine Card Woes

It was around 2:00am when I noticed a visitor laying beside me, taking up more than his fair share of the bed. {{When did he get so big? And tall? And since when does he SNORE?}} I never sleep well when Pax is in our bed. I'm always anticipating his obnoxious early rousing and will do anything to keep him from waking a single minute sooner. In my delusional mind, he might possibly sleep past 5:45am if I lay motionless until my side is numb or avoid breathing altogether.

Suddenly it was 4:30am and I heard Crew and Daisy (the dog) running up and down the hallway because, obviously, that's normal. {{Slaps forehead}} I stormed down the hall and used my "Scary Mommy Whisper Voice" and told both of them that I did not approve. The dog went back to sleep. The 4 year old? He coughed every 2 minutes from 4:32 until 6:30am. I timed his coughing intervals, in case you were wondering. And, no, cough medicine didn't help. (Hours later it was discovered that he has a fever, which I'm looking forward to everybody else catching within the week!)

A few hours later, I called my Electrician/Contractor father-in-law and asked if our house would catch on fire if the end of a colored pencil was broken off in the electric socket. We'll file this incident under: Things That Happen When I'm Peeing and Toddlers Are The Worst.

Liam's artwork

Minutes later, I quickly looked over Paxton's Valentine cards that he was asked to sign, and to my absolute horror, read the message he went great lengths to write on 26 Valentine cards. He wanted to write, "May the force be with you", but he realized that was too wordy, and so he shortened it to, "Force you". {{6 year old logic}}  The problem with being underdeveloped phonetically, or simply being in Kindergarten, and writing your own message? Well, in this situation, everything when you spell "force" F-U-R-C.

Furc you.
Love, Paxton

I wanted to cry and laugh and scream. Simultaneously. We are always such a hot mess, and this particular instance was only affirming that. Unfortunately, there was only enough time to get in the car and drive to his charter school, or risk missing his Valentine party, and that would have not ended well. I'm hoping that, like me, most his classmates parents won't actually read their children's Valentine cards.

Hi, my name is Vanessa and I am over this day.