I'm such a liar and I don't care

Rod+Vanessa = HUGE babies, which is why I've learned to become a pathological liar during pregnancy.  Each pregnancy I have been asked if we are having twins.  

Every. Single. Pregnancy.

"Are you SUUUURE there aren't two in there?"

Once upon a time we took our 17 month old Pax to the Fort Worth zoo. I was nowhere near the end of my pregnancy. In fact, I think I had at least 8weeks before my due date.  However, everybody there thought I was "over-due" and that we were at the zoo with the sole purpose of inducing labor by tons of walking.

Strangers looked at me with sympathetic faces and forced smiles. A few "bless your heart" comments were spoken, but it was the encouragement given for this assumed induction when I found myself lying to these strangers:

"Hopefully this walking will start labor!"

"He should be here any day!"

From that moment forward, "Any day now!" was my reply to the ever-annoying "When's your due date?" question.

The day I was apparently trying to induce labor. Except I wasn't.

This is what a 10lb baby (Crew) looks like at 38 weeks pregnant.

Once upon a time (a few weeks ago) Rod and I went on a date.  I prepared him for the lies I had already thought out so carefully.  "Ok. So. Today we'll tell people that I'm due in August, mmmk?" These types of dysfunctional exchanges occur more frequently than I'm willing to admit.

{Hangs head in shame}

I'm THAT person at the gym. Taking selfies like a champion.

 Sometimes, however, I cannot lie. Like when an older lady from church asks THE question and I'm forced to tell the truth.  I hesitated, but told her that baby would come sometime at the end of October. She patted my belly, leaned in close, and asked in a very serious tone if there were two babies, because "...you never know! Doctors can be wrong!"

I couldn't lie to the cute, older lady at Costco, either.  When I told her my (real) due date, her eyes shot down toward my belly to re-examine. Judging from the look on her face, her mind was about to explode until she yelled, "OH MY!!!!!! There just HAS TO BE two in there!!!"

The grand total number of strangers insisting I'm having twins this pregnancy: four. And keep in mind how often I lie about my due date, so I can only imagine that number would quadruple if I were actually a good person and told the truth! Also keep in mind that I haven't even reached the HOLY HUGE portion of pregnancy.  

 Bless. My. Uterus.

Just to recap: I'm a liar and I don't even care. And I'm having twins. Except I'm not.