The time Rod climbed through the kitchen window naked

Oh. My. Holy. Tired. Batman.

I assure you that writing Liam's birth story is my priority, but my brain is in such a sleep-deprived fog that I've decided to devote my energy writing about the absolute ridiculousness that has been happening lately. 

Like most newborns, Liam wakes every few hours to chow down. This I expected. Been there, done that. Recently, however, he has decided to stay awake for 2 hours during one of his nightly feedings. Last night, for example, we hung out from 1:00-3:00am. Unless I have amnesia, which is entirely possible, I don't recall the other boys doing this. 

Bright-eyed in the middle of the night

Liam is currently napping; I imagine he's exhausted. I should be napping, except I'm not because I cannot trust my other boys. At all.  

Why?  

Because the 3 year old tried feeding Liam a gummy-bear two weeks ago.

And because they took their clothes off the other day while playing outside.  Did I mention my midwives were here? And that the 3 year old waltzed inside and began chasing his brother with his shopping cart? Completely. Absolutely. 100% NAKED.

After a particularly exhausting night, Liam woke to nurse at 6:00am.  I made my way into the living room to find the boys watching TV surrounded by empty bowls that I discovered had been filled with ice-cream. Lots and lots and lots of ice-cream, judging by the TWO EMPTY containers I found on the kitchen floor. 

I was not amused.

They have a specific TV time, and I assure you it isn't at six in the morning. They also had the nerve to eat in the living room. On my couch?! And they ate ice-cream for breakfast?!!?  It wasn't our best morning. Later that day I discovered that Crew hid a 4 gallon container of ice-cream in his room.  By the time it was found, it was a goopy mess and had to be thrown out.  {{{Grinding teeth}}}  

Now on to my most favorite hot mess moment of the week: Rodney climbing through our kitchen window absolutely naked.  {{smacks forehead}}

As I already mentioned I was up with Liam from 1:00-3:00am.  During that time I was texting Rod, who was at work. The nature of his job in the ER doesn't give him time to reply, but what else does one do in the middle of the night? I was bored.  When Liam woke at 5:00am to eat again, I saw that Rod called me three times and text me at 3:45am:

You awake babe?

Babe I am home. I need in.

Honey I am here.

He doesn't get off work until 7:00am. I wasn't expecting him, so of course he was locked out!  He has keys to unlock the deadbolt, but he needs me to unlatch the top locks to get inside. I bolted out of bed assuming he had been locked outside since 3:45am. I first searched in the garage. I then searched outside. He could easily fall asleep in the grass, so I searched our front lawn, both cars and then came inside. I searched the backyard. Where was my husband?! 

As I walked inside and down the hall I noticed a large body laying in Paxton's bed. The missing husband was found!

But how did he get inside?

As always, he came in the garage and undressed. He doesn't like his gross scrubs coming inside; they always stay outside until they get washed.  It wasn't until after he was naked that he discovered his predicament. {{Giggle}}

He called and text me a few times before exiting the garage side-door which leads to the backyard. There he proceeded to walk around our house at 3:45am, butt-naked, trying to wake me. He came to our window, which was cracked, and called out to me. I was in a dead sleep and didn't wake, much to his dismay. He called my phone and listened as I silenced it, something I'm not entirely sure I remember doing.  Defeated, he looked for a way to break into our home. Luckily, our kitchen window was open. 

And that's the story behind why Rod climbed through our kitchen in the nude at 3:45am. We are so lucky nobody saw and called the cops.

{{{Insert laughing here. Half-crazed lady searching her cars and lawn at 5am for her husband while naked husband climbs through kitchen window an hour prior. We are such a hot mess.}}}