On this day five years ago, I was unprepared for the depth of love my heart could feel for such a demanding, squishy, adorable little boy. I was 38 weeks pregnant and utterly miserable. Bell's Palsy, swollen feet, sciatica, heartburn and a host of other late pregnancy discomforts had become part of my pregnancy journey.
It was hard.
It was hysterical.
It was special.
It was a blessing.
It was ALL worth it.
We ate lunch with my best friend from high school and her beautiful mother. Daddy drove their BMW because we both knew it would probably be his only opportunity to drive such a beauty. I sat in the passenger seat, on a towel, just in case my water broke.
We eventually said our good-byes.
Night came.
Braxton- hicks contractions started, like they always did.
We went to bed, unaware of your plans.
In the early morning hours, you decided it was time. Time to leave your Heavenly home and join our family. Time to begin the life that I'm sure your Father prepared you for. Time to say goodbye to those who loved you, tutored you, came before you and those who would be coming after you.
And then you came. All 9 pounds of you.
You came fast and furious.
You were the most beautiful newborn I had ever laid my eyes on.
In an instant, my world changed.
I embarked on the most soul-stretching year of my life: becoming a mother.
Learning.
Growing.
Crying.
Researching.
Breastfeeding.
Worrying.
Praying.
Regretting.
Laughing.
Yawning.
Bending.
Holding.
Teaching.
Rocking.
Singing.
Reading.
Loving.
Today, I watched your First Year video.
I sobbed.
It was such an ugly cry that I had to re-shower and get a grip.
Where does the time go?
I miss that chubby face. I miss those fat rolls. I miss that laugh, the squeals, and even all of those late-night feedings.
Just as you came into this world, you've grown fast and furious.
Happy 5th Birthday, little man!
i just love this!!
ReplyDelete