Hair Problems and Heavenly Help

Pregnancy is hard on me physically.  This pregnancy is no exception. In addition to weeks of nausea and vomiting, I've been loosing hair.  Lots and lots and LOTS of hair. Clumps of hair, really.  I loose a significant amount in the shower, when I brush it, when I dress, when I sleep and even when I lightly touch it.

Rodney, who is known for being incredibly laid back and generally optimistic, has noticed and is  concerned. It was once funny, but now it brings me to tears daily.  I've always loved my thick hair and it's ability to grow long and fast, but now it is literally being taken from me, and very rapidly.

I have talked with my midwife and we are in the process of addressing the problem, but in the meantime, I'm left alone with my fears.  Fears of eventually balding, fears of a more serious, unidentified health problem, and fears of miscarriage or stillbirth.   Hair loss after pregnancy can be normal, but hair loss to this extent during pregnancy is very uncommon, which only adds to my anxiety.

A few days ago I stared at myself in the mirror and then down at the enormous clump of hair that had fallen out that morning.  Tears welled in my eyes as I ran my fingers through my thinning hair. Confusion and fear overcame me.  Rodney walked in and took notice of the clump of hair.  He silently muttered, "Oh... wow... is that from today? That.... seems.... like.... a lot."  

Obsessing over the many more hairs that continued to fall out that day wasn't helping.  Google searches weren't helping nor was I finding definitive answers. 

And then I was reminded that the most powerful Being in the universe cared deeply, even if it's just hair.

"But the very hairs of your head are all numbered." (Matthew 10:30)

 Later that afternoon I found myself in the parking lot of the Sacramento, California Temple.  It is the only place I know to find the peace I was desperate for.  I wanted the Earthly distractions removed and to be surrounded by the peace and reverence of the temple.

(You can read more about the purposes of temples here.  You can also watch this comprehensive video which includes pictures of the inside of temples.)

While I was still in the parking lot I poured my heart out in prayer.  I told my Heavenly Father that I was scared and overwhelmed, full of fear, sadness, anxiety, devastation, anger, and confusion.  I told Him I felt helpless and hopeless.  I plead for His Divine help and His healing hand. I told Him I desired His peace and comfort and the help to increase my faith.  I needed Him to calm my fears and my worried heart.

My experience in the temple was beautiful. Not because I was immediately healed, nor was I given concrete answers, but because I was encompassed in PEACE.  I also received several promptings from the Holy Ghost that I needed.  One prompting from the Spirit spoke to my mind very clearly:

Write about this baby daily.

Choose JOY. 

This child is MY gift to you.

This child is rejoicing to come to Earth and is grateful for your sacrifices.

The one miraculous thing that I never want to forget is how VERY active the baby was.  Up to that point and since, that was the most I have ever felt the baby.  At nearly 14 weeks pregnant, it's rare to feel the baby often, if at all, but that afternoon in the temple I marveled at the contentious movement.  I felt the love of my Father and Savior surround me while simultaneously feeling the enthusiasm of our precious baby.  Another day forever etched in my heart.

I invite you to come back and read of my journey through this pregnancy as I discover just who the Lord has selected to join our family.  I might even complain about my hair loss some more. *wink*